Dog Slobber

Have you ever noticed how dog slobber doesn't desolve in dishwater? You actually have to use friction to get it off the plate. Maybe this is why dog slobber helps wounds to heal. Why doesn't someone get a gov't grant to develop a method of harvest and containment for amounts of dog slobber, to be spread on wounds? Not me, I'm busy right now. In the research stage. Now CAT slobber, on the other hand... When a dog licks you, it feels all smooth and sort of comfortable. Yeah, yeah, the dog tongue is smooth and the cat tongue is rough. I'm talking after the licking part is over. The dog slobber feels like a smooth, comfortable coating on your skin. CAT slobber, long after the licking is over, still feels sort of abrasive and itchy. Like you wanna wash it off. Well, you sort of wanna wash the dog slobber off too, but you don't really have to. If you get waylaid, and don't get to the washing immediately, and the dog slobber dries, you can forget about it. Once the cat slobber dries on you, yuck! It keeps on feeling like sandpaper on your skin and you don't forget about it. You scrub it off! I wonder why this is? In case you're grossed out by this slobber conversation, consider human slobber. FAR more bad bacteria than dog slobber. Even than cat slobber, unless the cat just finished cleaning his....derriere. I mean. If you lick someone, and you have H1N1 (for example), boom, they're infected. If they lick that same spot, or have a scratch there, or rub their eye with the hand you licked. When was the last time you were infected with a disease by dog slobber? Hm? And, don't kid yourself, you get a lotta human slobber on yourself, probably on a fairly regular basis. That stuff is germy, man! Germy! You should avoid human slobber! Have you ever realized how disease-free the Inuit were before they started kissing like us southerners do? Yeah! They rubbed noses or something. No slobber exchange, see. Once they starte exchanging slobber, boom. Infected. Flu, smallpox, all sorts of stuff. When was the last time you were infected with smallpox by dog slobber? I'm wondering if maybe we should have dogs lick all the doorknobs and computer keyboards in the area, to cleanse them. Say, before people come to the office, or several times a day at the mall. A good job for all those unemployed SPCA dogs. We could have dogs in the doctor's office, where they (the dogs, not the docs) would lick the faces of the patients. A double whammy of cure, physical cleansing and psychological comforting. What do you think? Now that I ponder it, if I licked my dog, would he get germs? If I had a cold, would he get a cold? Maybe. Unless he then licked the spot that I'd licked and cleaned up my germs with his good ol' clean dog slobber...